From control to freedom - a chef’s unlikely journey

You could say that the seed for our cookbook was first planted by my fear of food rather than my love of it. Food wasn’t always my friend. Like many young girls, I struggled with body image and knowing what food to eat was a constant battle. I would research and go back and forth with different rules and diets that were branded as healthy but, for myself, were actually just restrictive. From far back as the age of 10 I was so obsessed with eating minimal food that I eventually became very unwell. What I know now is that I had ‘voices’ and body dysmorphia in my head that were so strong they resulted in restrictive eating and purging. 

I never studied to be a chef; I studied fine art. I would use art as a way to make sense of what was going on in my mind. Funny enough, in the depths of the worse moments of my illness was when I started making art with food. I fell into a cook position when I was living in Canada. By chance or crazy synchronicity, I was offered a job at a new organic cafe called the Green Moustache. The owner was drawn to me because of my art and told me I could create temporary masterpieces out of food multiple times a day. Instead of paint on canvas I was using ingredients on plates. 

At this point I had been in hospital for collapsing from not enough fuel. Like a car with no petrol you eventually run out. We never talked about it but I think she knew working with food would help me. 

This was where my culinary and healing journey began. People say in order to over come a fear you need to face it head on. It was in those early moments at the cafe that I faced my fear of food. Yet, it was also where I began to see the power of food. I saw when a table is filled with delicious things, people connect, share and laugh. It has this incredible ability to bring people together and for the first time in a long time I was sitting at the table too, being nourished from the inside out. 

I finally began to learn how to silence those voices and truly see who I was. I was beginning to let go of fear and control in exchange for purpose and freedom. I fell in love with food. 

I learnt how to celebrate and transform ingredients and how you can transport yourself to anywhere in the world with a single dish. I learnt how your relationship with food can result in a healthy abundant life. I fell in love with the whole process. From the simple pleasures of chatting to a proud farmer to experimenting with ingredients to create a nourishing delicious meals. I saw the joy in feeding people, as well as feeding myself. 

A few years on, still on my food and healing journey I met Tom, my partner in life and business. We traveled the world together falling in love with each other while falling in love with the food we shared. After eating paella in Valencia, coconut sambol in Sri Lanka and chapati in India, we began to see one commonality that all food shared. 

The power to connect.  

It was from here we set out on our mission to inspire people to connect with their food. In the hope people would make choices that are better for their health, their community and our planet.   

We started the business in 2017 and looking back at it now I was still very much on my healing journey. Although I was a healthy weight I was hiding under the umbrella of whole foods. Orthorexia (an obsession with eating healthy food) is a natural progression for many with eating disorders and it was a part of my path to healing. 

Through this journey I learnt that dogmatism and food just don’t go together. This process led to the philosophy to not follow rules when it comes to food. Rather, we both believe it’s important to listen to your body wisely, consider how our food choices impact the Earth and celebrate whole ingredients. Food is sacred in all its forms. 

We now primarily offer retreat catering and feels like it has somewhat come full circle, feeding people that have come to reset and heal. We are lucky to have a unique opportunity to share what food can and to help people find the romance and love, like we did. 

We are now proud authors of our first cookbook, Anything’s Possible and owners of an organic retreat catering company in Byron bay. I couldn't imagine 10 years ago I would be writing this story. Sharing how food healed me and continues to inspire me every day. 

This is a summary of our journey so far. I hope it helps you along yours. 

Anything…really is possible…